Enjoy a chapter from Lynn's Books 941-302-0054

Enjoy A Chapter From Lynn's Book's

 Ladies... If Your Horse Is Dead, DISMOUNT!
&
How To Use Your Shopping Skills To Get A Man

Ladies... If Your Horse Is Dead, DISMOUNT!


CHAPTER TEN
If Horses Had Wings

“I must have died and gone to heaven!”  That’s exactly what I thought as I looked at the woman who was sitting across from me in a pink Victorian wing-backed chair.  She had the face of an angel, porcelain skin, twinkling blue eyes, and fluffy, pure white hair styled in a perfect French twist.

“Hello, I’m Angie.  You must be Lynn?”

This came from a lilting voice as angelic as her appearance.

“Thank you for coming to see me,” she continued.  “My friend’s daughter told me about you.  She said you were writing a book that would help women, right?”

I smiled and nodded.  “Yes, I am.”

“What is the title of your book?” Angie asked.

“Ladies, If Your Horse is Dead—Dismount!”

Angie laughed.  “Do you think you would be interested in an old woman’s story?  One I know will help a lot of women?”

“Certainly,” I replied. “I’m all ears.”

Angie smiled and looked to her right as she said “Hi” to two women shuffling slowly past us.  One woman was using a walker, the other woman a cane.

“Those are my friends.  They’re really lovely ladies, you know.  They live a few doors down from my room.  The one with the cane, that’s Suzie.  She always saves me a seat for our Sunday services.  Marlene is the one with the walker. She is eighty-eight and she still has a car, but her daughter keeps it for her because she can’t see well enough to drive.

”Angie seemed to enjoy small talk, but that stopped when she asked me, “Do you like to drive?”

I answered, “Yes, but not long distances.

”Angie leaned forward as if she was going to tell me a secret and whispered, “I love to drive.  Driving used to get me away from it all.  In particular my husband.  He was such an overbearing person who seemed to enjoy agitating me.  I wouldn’t let him rattle me; instead, I would head straight for the garage, get in my car, and take a long drive into the country.”

She settled back comfortably in her chair and reminisced.  “Driving was so relaxing to me.  You know, I didn’t drive till I was forty!  I actually taught myself.  I had two children late in life.  I was thirty-seven, married for thirteen years, when I was blessed with my first child.

“My husband traveled every week.  He was a salesman for a meat packing company, and later he sold corrugated boxes to manufacturers.  While he was away I was stuck in the house with two beautiful boys, whom I treasured and adored so much.  I wanted to share and expose them to the world.  That’s when I taught myself to drive.

“My children loved to take rides in the car, as much as I love to drive.  When my boys were very young, on rainy days it became a tradition to pile into the car, drive down the backcountry roads, and count the cows on the way into town to our local five and dime.  When we got to the store the boys would each get a bag of popcorn.  Till this day, I don’t think it was the popcorn that really excited them.  It was the ride in the car.

“On weekends, when their father was home, a ride in the car became more than getting popcorn—it was an escape.  When Mick—that’s my husband’s name—came home after being gone for a week, he would act as though he was the king of the house, and the children his royal servants.  ‘His Royal Highness’ insisted that he be waited on hand and foot.”

Angie made a sweet little harrumphing noise.  “For me it was actually easier to take care of two delightful children than one childish, bratty husband.  I used to think I could bear with it because he was only home on weekends.  Then he decided to become self-employed.  He stayed in the same business, selling corrugated boxes.  But he stopped traveling and worked out of the house.

“Mick just couldn’t stand to be on the road not knowing where I was or what I was doing.  He had to be in total control of everything.  When he started working at home, I became much more than a wife and a mother.  ‘His Royal Highness’ granted me a third job, as his ‘Royal Personal Secretary.’

“I was a good wife and always supported my husband in any way I could—even though he was a royal pain in the butt.  Often, nights, I would stay up working on his payables and receivables while he went out to his Kiwanis meetings.

“He had several very large accounts that he relied on, but after awhile he became complacent and didn’t service any accounts in person.  He would call his accounts and ask what they needed once a week.  Eventually he stopped calling on his small accounts altogether.  He said they weren’t worth the bother.  After all, he had the big accounts to rely on.”

Angie shook her head in exasperation.  “When it came to money matters, my husband was never much of a saver, but that didn’t matter.  Every year, he had to buy the biggest car on the lot, just to show off.  I had no choice at all in the selection of our cars.  My husband would pick up the car and show up in the driveway tooting his horn loud enough so the neighbors would look out of their windows.

“Mick was actually able to coast with those several large accounts for several years without his income changing—until the leadership changed in the companies he relied on.  Sure, he still called once a week and asked for their orders, but the new regimes hadn’t a clue who Mick was.

“I guess there is something to be said for nurturing relationships in person.  Eventually he ended up losing the accounts.  But, believe it or not, our financial situation didn’t stop Mick from spending money.  With no accounts and so much time now on his hands, he took up golf.

“Our savings account finally dwindled down to three hundred dollars.  That’s when, at the age of fifty-five, he decided to just retire.  We had barely enough money to scrape by each month.

“By that time my two sons were off at college.  How I love them!  My sons were my whole life.  Even though Mick was there, I always felt so alone, and worse than that, we were practically broke.

“I was fifty-five.  Some would say that was over the hill, but that’s when my life started.  I stood up for myself and decided I could support myself.  Actually, truth be known, I had no choice.  I knew I had to do something before Mick put us in the poor house.  That’s when I enrolled myself in Real Estate school—of course, without Mick’s blessings or support.

“It seemed as if overnight I became one of the top producers in the real estate office I worked in.  I ended up selling real estate for twenty years.  I was seventy-five when I stopped.  I didn’t retire.  It was just that Mick had open-heart surgery, and I became his full-time nurse.  He was actually happy, because this meant I had to stay home with him all the time and not leave the house to go to work.  He never supported me in selling real estate.  Well, he did come to all my open houses, but that was just to keep an eye on me.  He was a jealous man.

“Nursing Mick back to health took a toll on my own health.  He was really a handful.  He never followed the doctor’s orders.  Can you believe he actually ate a half a pound of bacon and six eggs for lunch, just one week after open-heart surgery?

“He never had many friends because he was so self-centered.  After twenty years of supporting Mick, I was tired and out of energy.  I knew I was starting to get a little forgetful.  I actually paid some of the same bills twice.  It wasn’t easy taking care of him, the household, and pretending to my children that everything was just fine.

“And I couldn’t believe that once again, I was worried about money.  I had saved over one hundred thousand dollars from my real estate sales.  But after taking care of Mick and all his medications, I had only eight hundred dollars left in a savings account.  We lived in a condo that was paid for, but there were still bills to pay.  We ate at McDonald’s, and hot dogs became a favorite dinner.

“My son, who lived in Florida, came to visit and insisted that we move close to him.  I didn’t know how I could pack everything and just move.  Thank God, I didn’t have to worry.  My son and his wife took care of the whole thing.

“I sold our condo and was once again relieved to have some savings.  Shortly after we moved to Florida, I fell and broke two bones.  After rehab, my doctor recommended assisted living.

“Mick wanted nothing to do with it, but this time I was the one who needed help.  It was amazing.  Before we moved to Florida, Mick was like a zombie; I did everything for him.  Now he was alert and doing well, and I took a turn for the worse.

“I was scared of living on my own, and worse, scared of living with Mick, who was back to being his overbearing self.  I told Mick he had no choice in the matter.  We were moving to assisted living.  I looked forward to someone else cooking for me.  Most of all, I wouldn’t have to worry about paying bills at the end of each month.

“Once more my son and his wife helped us pack and move here.  I loved making new lady friends.  As for Mick, he found fault in everyone, as usual.  We used to live together in that last room down the hall.”  She pointed.

“You don’t live there anymore?” I asked.

“Well, Mick couldn’t get along with anyone.  He argued all the time.  He would hold my hand every time we left our room.  Most of the staff thought we were so in love.  What they didn’t know was it wasn’t love at all; it was ownership.  If Mick was mad at someone, he wanted me to be mad, too.

“I couldn’t leave our room without Mick.  He would yell at me and push me around.  You’ve probably noticed by now I often did things later than most.  I had children at thirty-seven and learned to drive at forty, not to mention real estate school at fifty-five.  Well, now at eighty-two, I longed to have control of my life.  I wanted to be number one, not second as I always was to Mick.

“So you know what I did?”  She grinned blissfully.  “I finally threw Mick out!  He has his own room down that hall.”  She pointed in the opposite direction from her own room.

I guess I couldn’t have looked more surprised.  If I’d thought Ruth was late, Angie proved it was never too late to dismount a dead horse!

“He can’t yell or tell me who to talk to anymore.  I have a roommate, and she is a good friend.  Lots of the ladies invite me to sit with them at dinner, and they always ask how I am.  As you can see, I’m doing just fine, just fine.” 

Angie was one of the most gracious ladies I have ever met.  She was right when she said she had a story that would help a lot of women—especially those who are wondering if it’s too late to dismount a dead horse.

If Angie dismounted at eighty-two, it’s proof that it’s never too late to dismount a dead horse—even the one that convinced Angie for sixty years that she had no choice but to put up with Mick.

I can recall as though it was yesterday the first time I set my eyes on Angie. Truly, I thought I was seeing an angel sitting in front of me in her pink, wing-backed chair.  At that time I was wrong, because Angie was very much alive and real.

Six months after I met her, however, Angie became a real angel.

The night I heard that Angie had passed on, I dreamt of her.  In my dream Angie was sitting on a pure white thoroughbred in a pink satin saddle with stirrups made of pearls.  The horse looked magical as it spread its angel-like wings and whisked Angie through the gates of heaven.

Such a beautiful dream, don’t you think?  And not too far from reality.  After all, Angie did ride a white thoroughbred on earth, if even only for a short time.  It was the same white thoroughbred that waited patiently through the years for Angie to dismount her dead horse named Fear.  Angie, at age eighty-two, finally took the reins of that white thoroughbred on the day she moved into her own room.The horse’s name was Freedom.  Need I say more? 

How To Use Your Shopping Skills To Get A Man

Cleaning Out

Your Closet

Chapter 1

if I know that you have no room in your

closet or life for Mr. Right?

Until you clean out your closet of past

relationships, your old wish list, and your

habit of settling for less than you deserve,

you will never have room for the love of

your life in your closet...

Chapter 1 Cleaning Out Your Closet

How could you possibly fit one more man in

your closet ?

We have all been there before ...waking up on a gray,

gloomy rainy Saturday morning, staring

at the extra pillow on our bed, and thinking,

What is wrong with me? Why am I still single?

How nice it would be on a day like today, or

any day, to just roll over and snuggle with the love

of my life, followed by a day of cuddling up on

may want to just hang out and play hooky from the

world. But instead you sigh, stretch your arms, climb out of

bed, and put your best foot forward. Still not totally awake, you

wander into the bathroom and squeeze one last dab of toothpaste

out of a deflated tube. As you peer into the mirror, you

are reassured that today is going to be a bad hair day, so you

opt to take on the overdue dreaded chore of — what else?

Off to the kitchen you go.

While you are impatiently waiting for the coffee, you talk

yourself into staying in your comfy old flannel PJs and pink, not so fluffy,

worn-out slippers that you have had forever. For this tedious task, you carry a

few trash bags and a box in one hand, and carefully walk to the closet balancing

a much-needed cup of coffee in the other hand. Upon opening your closet

door, you realize that you are looking at so much more than messy shelves

stacked high with sweaters, marching rows of hanging garments, racks of

shoes, a battalion of belts, and a few suitcases. In fact, it’s not a closet at all...

it’s a day trip down memory lane! A trip that includes all the dates, friends,

places, and events that guided you to your present status: single, lonely, and

longing to meet the love of your life.

Fast-forward—it’s dinnertime.

You are still in your PJs, the coffee pot is now empty, and so are the trash bags

and boxes you had high hopes of filling. And all with good reason!

First, there is the purple, strapless chiffon, size-too-small-to-mention, one-ofa-

kind designer dress that you wore in your best friend’s wedding party. Let’s

see, was that a century ago? The fabric looks faded and even a bit frayed. It

was never your color. You hated it then and you hate it now, but after all, it

was expensive and you couldn’t just give it away. “Wow, I used to fit into this,”

you whisper, holding the dress to your waist and glancing into the mirror.

Then you mumble, “I’ll fit back into it one day,” as you hang it ever so carefully

right back in the spot it’s been hanging for years.

Wow! There’s the black leather jacket you had in high school. As you reach

for the sleeve, you realize that the years have not been so kind to the leather.

Once, this coat was soft and supple to the touch. Now it’s a cracked, flaky

gray. Naturally, you reminisce about how cool you looked wearing the jacket,

and you slip it on. No doubt about it. It’s a classic. Knowing that even the best

leather conditioner would be of no help to the rough, shredded leather, you

decide—it’s a keeper.

As you slide the leather jacket over to the right, you reveal yet another lost

treasure that had been sandwiched between two garment bags for years. You

can’t believe your eyes. It’s your prom dress—still in the plastic bag from the

you lift up the yellowed plastic bag for a quick peek at an enchanting high

school memory. Like a kid in a candy store, your eyes zoom in on the crowded

shoe rack. With great excitement, you reach for a pair of pointy-toed shoes . .

. the ones that were perfectly dyed to match your prom dress. “They’re like new,”

you say, as you turn over the shoes, revealing their barely scuffed soles. “Aren’t

pointed shoes back in style?” you ask yourself. Back on the rack they go!

Chapter 1 Cleaning Out Your Closet

Shelves of jeans, jeans, and more jeans. . . bell-bottoms, hip-huggers,

cut-off ’s, and Levis, all several sizes too small and worn out beyond recognition.

But no way are you going to part with them. How could you give up

those memories?

and grab a handful of photos. While sipping on a cup of cold coffee, you squat

on the floor and play a game of “Who the heck is that guy in that photo with

me?” After gawking at the photos for an hour, your legs begin to feel numb

and you’re sneezing from the mold. Convinced they are one-of-a-kind and irreplaceable,

you put the photos back in the box and up on the dusty shelf.

Okay. So you spent a day in the closet and came out empty-handed. Sounds

like your love life, right? Let’s go back into closet together—but this time,

I want you to close your eyes and imagine. Instead of seeing dresses, pants,

sweaters, and boxes of photos, imagine that your closet shelves and hangers

are filled with all the men you can recall from your past.

Let’s have some fun! Trust me. Keep your eyes closed, but open your mind

as you grab my hand and step into your imaginary closet full of men from

the past. Look over there! Hanging at the end of the rack—do you see the

man who looks shopworn, outdated? I’ll bet that—perhaps like the dress you

wore in your friend’s wedding—he is not quite the right fit anymore. Seems

he’s like your old jeans: comfortable, but you wouldn’t want to be seen in

public with him.

How about the one next to the shoe rack with the overly suntanned, wrinkled

face? Does he remind you of the old classic leather jacket you wore in high

school? He might have been cool back then, but now. . . well, you can’t stay a

teenager forever.

I can’t help but notice that there doesn’t seem to be any real order or system

in your closet. Perhaps we could mentally organize the men you know. Group

them by departments, like you would find in an upscale store—athletic wear,

camping and fishing attire, formal wear, cruise wear, big and tall, business

suits, trendy, traditional, and classic. Don’t forget the miscellaneous department!

That includes the recycled section—you know, the one who chased

your girlfriend but she had no interest, so she introduced him to you. Boomerangs—

the ones you thought you’d gotten rid of for good, but they keep

making appearances back in your closet. The moocher, the mommy’s boy,

the class clown. Oh, almost forgot the buddy department—more commonly

known as the like-a-brother-to-me section. We have all had one or two of

those in our life and in our closet!

Okay. It’s time to open your eyes. And it’s time to realize that, just like the old

clothes in your closet that you need to let go of, so, too, are the men from your

past, along with the choices you made when you placed them in your life. The

Chapter 1 Cleaning Out Your Closet

empty trash bags and box are going to come in handy right now, because you

are about to clean out your closet of past relationships and the men who have

been cluttering your closet and life for years.

Did you know that kangaroos do not have the ability to walk backwards?

Wouldn’t women be smart to follow in the kangaroos’ footsteps with regard

to the men in their lives? If you were a kangaroo cleaning out your closet,

you would fill your trash bags and never second-guess yourself, nor hesitate

to say goodbye to any garments that have hung around for years, served no

purpose, and gathered dust. That’s exactly what we are going to do once we

clean out your closet. We will be hopping forward and never looking back.

All right, for old time’s sake, I will let you take one last look at all of the men

hanging in your closet. It will help you to realize what has and hasn’t worked

in the past and what you really want now. Before we hop forward, you need to

reflect on all of the men who were hanging on those racks, sitting on shelves,

and immortalized in photo boxes prior to your big clean-up. Tell me about

them. What were their names? How did you meet? Who introduced them to

you? This information will be very important in planning your shopping trip

to find the love of your life.

Select the top three names of the past men in your closet. These can be the

most recent, your favorites, or the ones who lasted the longest. You decide.

(You can do more if you are brave and can gather more information.) How

long did the relationship last? Hours, days, weeks, months, years? What

attracted you to them? What turned you off ? Dig down deep and be honest

with yourself about what was right and wrong. Get a friend to help you if

you need to. If you want to explore more men from the past, just photocopy

the workbook pages and fill them out. The more you write, the more that

may be revealed to help you out on our shopping trip for the love of your life.

You’ll discover your wishes, your absolute needs, your never-agains, and your

thoughtless habits. Go ahead and get busy and fill out your hangups.

Name________________________________________________

We met at____________________________________________

Introduced by _______________________________________

The attraction was___________________________________

I liked him because__________________________________

The turn-offs were___________________________________

How long the relationship lasted_____________________

How it ended________________________________________

What I learned about myself_________________________

______________________________________________________

______________________________________________________

______________________________________________________

______________________________________________________

Chapter 1 Cleaning Out Your Closet

Hang ups in the closet #2

Name________________________________________________

We met at____________________________________________

Introduced by _______________________________________

The attraction was___________________________________

I liked him because__________________________________

The turn-offs were___________________________________

How long the relationship lasted_____________________

How it ended________________________________________

What I learned about myself_________________________

______________________________________________________

______________________________________________________

______________________________________________________

______________________________________________________

How to Use Your Shopping Skills to Get A Man

Hang ups in the closet #3

Name________________________________________________

We met at____________________________________________

Introduced by _______________________________________

The attracted was___________________________________

I liked him because__________________________________

The turn-offs were___________________________________

How long the relationship lasted_____________________

How it ended________________________________________

What I learned about myself_________________________

______________________________________________________

______________________________________________________

______________________________________________________

______________________________________________________

Caution...when disposing of past men

Do not automatically trash them. They may not be for you, but they may

be right for someone else. What if there is truth to the old saying that one

woman’s junk is another woman’s treasure? Recycling is a good thing—

unless they were real jerks, of course. Ask your friends if they want

an introduction!

But remember, you hung these men in your closet a long time ago, before

you knew you could use your shopping skills to get a man. In the past, you

used the dating system that I call “got a hunch, date a bunch.” And look what

that got you ... a closet too full to enter and yet nothing to wear. That will all

change when you learn how to make a shopping list. Now you will have only

quality garments in your closet.

Next, it’s time to get real about what you really want and to make a shopping

list. That’s right—a shopping list. Every woman knows you never go shopping

on an empty stomach or without a list, because if you do, lots of junk

ends up in your cart! Skilled man-shopping works the same way. You should

never go shopping for a man if you are starving for attention and desperate,

unless you have a shopping list.

And remember, I can’t take you shopping for a man if I know that you have

no room in your closet or life for Mr. Right. Until you clean out your closet of

past relationships, your old wish list, and your habit of settling for less than

you deserve, you will never have room for the love of your life in your closet.

And for goodness sake, if you were married before, get rid of the wedding

dress! Donate it to charity.

11

The Shopping List

Chapter 2

I’ll bet you can’t believe how big it really is!

To think that all these years you’ve

complained about not having enough room in

your closet, and now after getting rid of all

the old baggage, so to speak, it looks

and feels empty...and so do you.

I want you to know that it’s natural to be

feeling a bit lonesome without any

( That’s gar

Not to worry; let me tell you what we are going to do.

We’re going to update your wardrobe with spectacular designer one-of-akind

matter how tempting the sales and bargains may be, I won’t let you fill up

your closet with racks and shelves of the same type of men you just spent a

day getting rid of ! Instead, we are going to be shopping only for a few good

men, the men who are deserving of you. The ones who will last.

Here is the plan.

First we will go window-shopping in select stores where quality is tops, fabrics

are durable, and the only brand they carry is the one you can depend on.

This means that at first we’re only looking, not buying. We’re window-shopping

When I have a better understanding of what type of a shopper you are, we

will be ready to step forward into the store of your choice!

Every woman has shopping in her blood.

I believe that the day will come when scientists will discover that we all carry

a “shopping gene.” After all, if it did not exist, the world economy would

be in shambles. The malls would be all but nonexistent, and catalogs would

pile up in mailboxes day after day. Why, without the women’s shopping gene,

new and improved products would sit on the shelves until they were old and

outdated! It’s a fact that women make 80% of the buying decisions, and that

major marketing companies target new products and packaging to women.

Until some male scientist gets a Nobel Prize for discovering the female shopping

gene, you will just have to take my word that they exist.

It’s no coincidence. It’s just a fact. Women are the superior sex when it comes

to shopping, with one exception: shopping for a mate. But that’s all about

to change! I don’t know my blood type, but one thing I know for sure is my

shopping type. Do you know yours?

How to Use Your Shopping Skills to Get A Man

Let’s see. Maybe you’re the type of shopper who goes into the store for one

thing and comes out with more than one human being can physically carry.

offered dozens of colors. How could you choose just one? So you took one

of each. We understand you went into the store just to buy a single tube of

mascara. Then the sign abducted you. Was it the one that read “Two for one,

gift with purchase, today only”? Or perhaps it was the “Open a charge today

and get an extra 20% off our already 80% marked-down merchandise.” Wow,

look at how much you saved! They were giving it away.

8:00 AM tomorrow? The one who decides that she doesn’t have a thing to

wear after she squeezes sideways into her overstocked closet, where there are

price tags still dangling off clothes she never wore? The panic sets in as you

remember the mall closes at 9:30 and it is already 8:15. You rush out the door

and arrive at the mall at 9:10 with no idea of what you want or what store to

go into first.

If you are one of these women, writing a shopping list and using your shopping

skills to get your man is going to be a challenge. It may take discipline,

but it is all worth it! Let me give you a clear example of the impulsive buyer

and the last-minute shopper with regard to shopping for a man. When an

impulsive shopper’s friend tells her she has someone she wants her to meet,

the perfect guy, she quickly replies, “Okay, when?” before her friend can even

get his name out of her mouth.

When invited to a wedding well in advance, the last-minute shopper waits

until just a few days before the occasion to start calling everyone and anyone

she knows to see if they are available to escort her. This includes the nerdy

neighbor who lives next door, or worse yet, her dependable backup—Walter,

her gay cousin, who looks like he just stepped out of

Maybe I haven’t described

any shopping style that fits you yet.

Try one of these on for size.

The Deja-vu Shopper

For some reason, you look familiar. Do I know you?

Miss Deja-vu, the loyal shopper, is at the boutique down the

road a bit from her house. She has been shopping at this boutique

ever since she was a teenager. All the salespeople know her on a

first-name basis. The owner of the store only wishes every customer were

like her. After all, she knows exactly what she is looking for whenever she enters

the doors. She knows what department to find it in. And she never leaves

a mess in the dressing room, because—well, frankly, she never tries anything

on. Why should she? She knows the brand she always buys, the one that fits

perfectly every time. Once in a while, she will ask for the style she likes in a

different fabric. But the new styles—no, they are totally off limits.

Wait a minute, I just figured it out. Now I remember where I know you from.

We cleaned out your closet together. You were the one with the beige closet!

The walls were painted beige. The hangers were beige. All your tops, dresses,

shoes, pants, belts, shorts, and handbags, beige, beige, beige. I have never seen

so much beige in one place.

I think you’re getting my drift. When the Deja-vu shopper goes shopping

for a man, she may say she wants something different, but she never changes

her M.O. She is a creature of habit, so naturally she always ends up with the

same type of man. You will often hear her complain to her friends about how

all the good ones must be taken and that the rest all have the same old lines.

She is right. Of course that has nothing to do with the fact that she only goes

to one place, where everyone knows her name, to meet these men. Or the

fact that she uses her preset sonar system the second she walks into a room

to meet a man, just as she does when she goes to her favorite boutique. On

automatic pilot, she heads to the department and rack that features—what

else? Beige, boring beige, play-it-safe beige, lifeless beige. Just because she is

willing to change fabrics once in a blue moon, she can’t understand why she

is attracting the same type of man every time! She doesn’t get it that the

fabric may feel different, and even look different, but it’s still the same color:

beige. If you are Miss Deja-vu, I have some inside news about your favorite

boutique. It is going out of business, just about the same time you finish

this book.

Shopper: Ms. Wanna Be

Let’s move on to a completely opposite type of shopper. This one is so colorful

that if you were standing in a black hole next to her, you would still

need sunglasses to protect your eyes from the glare of the bright colors she

selects. Get ready to meet Ms. Wanna Be. There she is, fifty-something, in

the juniors department. And she’s found just what she was looking for on

the mannequin. The same outfit that Jerry, her co-worker, was gawking at

on Britney in a music awards magazine. Jerry, the same guy she wants to be

with. Without trying them on or looking at the price, she hands her charge

card to the clerk to buy a pair sheer, low-riding, fluorescent pink spandex hip

made of pink lace and trimmed with glitter, and a pair of five-inch spike

heeled open-toed shoes!

If you are Ms. Wanna Be, I hope you’re shopping with a friend and that she

will be kind enough to lock you in the dressing room until you come to your

senses and realize that you should be YOU, not someone else, just because

you want to be with Jerry. If you are truly comfortable dressing like Britney

no matter what your age or size, then I say, “Good for you! You have healthy

self-esteem.” But if you’re dressing to fit Jerry’s taste, and you’re uncomfortable

in what feels like someone else’s skin, then I say to you, “Return it all,

every last thing, including the

16

act or for what they hope you will become, they are hopeless.” Mrs. Wanna

Be, unless you are dressing to your own liking, I am not taking you shopping

for a man in the junior department.

Ms. Perpetual Shopper

Is that her? Again? She’s back? Did she ever go home when the mall closed?

Does she have an apartment above the mall? That’s what all the store sales

clear of her. Some even hide in the stock room, especially the ones in the shoe

may I add, without buying a single pair! You should have seen the shoe department.

What a mess, boxes everywhere.

Then she went on to bring what seemed to be fifty-two dresses into the dressing

room, where she spent five hours asking customers how she looked in this

one and that one. Of course, never hanging a single one back on the hanger.

The store managers are amazed that she never leaves the mall with a shopping

bag in hand. Although there is one thing. She always leaves. . . a mess for

someone else to clean up.

Are you laughing? Is it because you know the Perpetual Shopper, or are you

her? When it comes to shopping for a man, it doesn’t matter whom she is

introduced to. One date, that’s it’s ... on to the next. As did the shoe clerks, her

friends now hide from her when she asks if they know any one to fix her up

with. They have all introduced her to dozens of men over the years, only to

be left cleaning up the mess, so to speak. Empty-handed, she comes home and

just can’t understand why she dates so much and can’t find one man who is

fit for a second date. Was there really something terribly wrong with every

man she’s ever met? Or could it be she is afraid of Commitment? She tells

her friends she wants to get married, but she can’t even commit to a second

How to Use Your Shopping Skills to Get A Man

asks you to go with her to try on wedding gowns. Run, run as if you were in

the Olympics, and don’t look back. What if she tries on wedding gowns like

shoes? And besides, until she reads this book, what makes you think she will

be committed to marriage? That is, if she even shows up at the altar.

Ms. Got a Hunch, Buy a Bunch

Last, but not least, there’s the Got a Hunch, Buy a Bunch Shopper. “I don’t

need this, but you never know when it might come in handy,” are her favorite

words. She loves to buy in volume. Her kitchen pantry is stocked with boxes

of unopened dishes and table linens in dozens of colors, and the spare room

is full of towels, bedding, lamps, vases. I have never seen so many pillows!

She has all kinds of extra appliances and cases of dog food. (She doesn’t have

a dog, but it was on sale and one never knows when you might meet a friend

who brings his herd of dogs for dinner, right?) What’s this under her bed?

Baby clothes? Is she pregnant? No, silly. They were a good deal at a closeout

store, so she bought a gross. It’s only one hundred forty-four pink newborn

baby blankets. Okay, let’s set the ground rules. When I take Miss Got a

Hunch shopping for a man, she is not going to bring home a bunch, a gross,

or even a dozen. She will not have any backups under the bed or in the closet.

She will learn that one good man who matches what is on her shopping list is

better than hundreds who are not.

Did you recognize your shopping style? Or perhaps you felt as if you have a

little of each in you? It’s time to wipe the slate clean of any of your shopping

styles and habits. Think of it a blood transfusion. From this point on, you

have new shopping genes. Now you’re ready to write your shopping list. You

will need to be as specific as possible. Remember, what you write on your list

is what we are going window-shopping for. This will also help us in planning

what stores we want to shop in.

18

Describe the love of yo ur life

(or draw him if yo u have to)!

What he looks like, where he lives, his nationality, his age, and anything you

feel will help us to find this merchandise when we see it in the right store!

1. ___________________________________________________________

2.___________________________________________________________

3.___________________________________________________________

4.___________________________________________________________

5.___________________________________________________________

6. ___________________________________________________________

7.___________________________________________________________

8.___________________________________________________________

9.___________________________________________________________

10.__________________________________________________________

11. __________________________________________________________

12.__________________________________________________________

13.__________________________________________________________

14.__________________________________________________________

15.__________________________________________________________

16.__________________________________________________________

17.__________________________________________________________

18.__________________________________________________________

My Man

20

You have just compiled a list and drew someone you would like to have.

Sounds like the perfect man, right? But there is one problem with that. The

description is almost the same as the man who has been cluttering up your life

and closet for years. Remember how, on the first date, you thought each one

of them was Mr. Perfect? And now you’re repeating history. Yes,

not yours, the one with the happy ending.

the perfect man, he is looking for the perfect woman, and never shall the two

meet. He doesn’t exist, because this is a dream list. Wake up!

This first list is just what you want, not what you need. Same with looks.

Don’t quit on me, now! I did not say this was going to be easy; but I did say

it will be well worth it. Believe me, I have been there—and my list of what

I wanted was over 40 lines long. You’re doing well! Now let’s work on a list

that is more than a wish list. It is the list of what you need, not what you

want. Reflect on the list you just wrote on page 18 and circle five things you

absolutely need. In other words, five things you cannot and will not be able to

survive without in a healthy relationship. This goes on our final list.

This is a good start to developing your shopping list. These key elements

represent the brand of merchandise you want. Next we need to select the

quality of fabric—the traits you are looking for in a man. Circle five of the

top qualities you want to shop for.

The last step in making your shopping list is to prioritize what you want. Using

“A” for Absolute, “B” for Nice-to-have, and “C” for Can-do-without, read

each of your selections and place an A, B, or C next to each one. You can have

more than one A, B, or C. If that happens, then go back and prioritize them

as A-1, A-2, A-3 or B-1, B2, etc.

Patient

Bored

Nervous

Intelligent

Angry

Happy

Helpful

Committed

Laid back

Excitable

Organized

Earthy

Social

Unsocialable

Sensitive

Smart Alec

Direct

Complementary

Humorous

Down-to-Earth

Mean

Gross

Untidy

Accomplished

Selfish

Disciplined

Courageous

Trusting

Wise

Confident

Compassionate

Negative

Critical

Powerful

Religious

Spiritual

Flexible

Fearful

Content

Creative

Sensitive

Handy

Jealous

Depressed

Intimate

Attentive

Honorable

Dependable

Intense

Complacent

Resourceful

Devoted

Honest

Easy-going

Sweet

Respectful

Tender

Loveable

Uncertain

Adorable

Sexy

Perfectionist

Inflexible

Quiet

Loud

Doubtful

Greedy

Charming

Conservative

Forgiving

Crazy

Sports fanatic

Loving

Educated

Smoker

Drinker

Prejudiced

Circle five top personality traits you want

to shop for in a man...and while you’re at

it, X out any traits you can’t live with.

22

Your Real Shopping List

1. ______________________________

2.______________________________

3.______________________________

4.______________________________

5.______________________________

6. ______________________________

7.______________________________

8.______________________________

9.______________________________

10._____________________________

Looks like your shopping list is ready. Grab your purse and be sure to put

on comfortable shoes. We are going out to shop for a man, and we are not

coming back until we get the one you want. Oh, I forgot to ask. Where are

we going shopping? The mall, the little boutique down the street, or the consignment

shop?

23

Window Shopping

Chapter 3

can be overwhelming. Why, just

in your hometown alone, I’ll bet there are

hundreds, if not thousands, of places to

choose from. And yet, if I were to ask you

to list a dozen or so places you would

consider visiting with me where you can use

your shopping list to get a man, you would

probably get stumped, or come up with a

list that is comprised of the same places

you have been window-shopping for years.

Oh, the places we will go—or not!

I think you would agree that it makes no sense for us to set out on our trip if

you don’t know where you want to start window-shopping, or if we are going

to visit the same places that you have been shopping for years. You may have

run out of ideas of places to go—but I haven’t. As a matter of fact, I have a

few good ones that I’ll bet you’ve never thought of.

Let’s think of the places I am about to introduce you to in terms of three

about any style and brand you are looking for, not to mention that they usually

have an excellent return policy. Second, there’s the boutique, for those

hard-to-find specialty or unique items. And third, there’s the consignment

store, or as most of us refer to it, the second-hand shop.

You can get good buys at any of these stores if you know what you’re looking

for. You must use your list. Flexibility is the key. You should be flexible

on a few items on your shopping list, but not to the breaking point. You will

need lots of time and patience, especially if you are going to the consignment

shop. I suggest looking through all the bins and racks. You may find just

what is on your shopping list. Okay, so it may not be the perfect fit or new. It

may be slightly dented or scratched, but in good working condition. As Dell

Harley, a songwriter and my good friend taught me, you can’t judge a heart

by the home it lives in! The second-hand shop will mostly consist of—what

else? Second-time-around garments. Or, as I like to refer to these divorced

men—someone who had a long bad date.

Keep in mind, we are just looking, not making a final purchase. And for goodness

sake, don’t touch…. Let’s start off with the boutique stores. This list

represents specialty places where you can go window-shopping for a man.

Chapter 3 Window Shopping

Most single men get their chores started early on Saturday mornings so they

can have time to play. And if they’re up early that means they’re not hung

over from partying too hard on Friday night—always a good sign. If “good

looks” is high on your list, I suggest you give that a second thought. Keep in

mind that looks do run out, and if you are truly in love, you never see (notice)

the physical person. If you choose to keep looks on your list, don’t be so quick

to judge how these men look so early in the morning. If they look halfway

decent, just imagine how they clean up.

Boat Shows

Men love big toys! Even if they are not financially ready to buy, they like to

try them out. What a fun way to spend an afternoon, unless of course you

live in the desert! I suggest you do a little reading, just to know the basic terminology,

before fraternizing with the salespeople at a boat show. Dress casually

and wear shoes that have rubber soles. You do not have to have a boat to

sign up for a night or weekend class. If you live near a coast, these are usually

offered by the local Coast Guard. Fishing guides and dealers offer them anywhere

there’s a large lake. I don’t know one serious boater who has not been

certified by attending such a course, before setting sail with his new toy.

Wine-Tasting Events

If he has a palette for the finer things in life, he undoubtedly will be at a local

wine tasting, sipping and learning about the newest wine. Contact your

local wine stores or gourmet markets to find out when they are holding such

events. Most of the time, they are complimentary or charge a nominal fee—

well worth the window-shopping time.

26

Harley Davidson Dealership

(on a Saturday, if you’re into leather or not. . .)

Did you do it? Most of us do—stereotype, that is.

Did you immediately envision a Hell’s Angel

character? And say to yourself, “What is this author

thinking?” Well, I’ll tell you what I’m thinking. The

average Harley is a luxury toy and can cost thousands of

dollars—not to mention all the money biker dudes spend

on the added custom chrome and accessories. These

biker dudes are made up of mostly professional men,

educated decent gentlemen who can afford such a toy.

They enjoy taking out their expensive toy on weekends

and proudly showing it off to the world with

other biker playmates. Bikers are very communityoriented

people. They hold poker runs and rides to

raise money for children’s charities, among other

causes. If you know nothing about motorcycles, then

visit a showroom and take a look around. And ask about

the opportunity to volunteer at their next charity events.

Second-hand Shops

It’s time to think about the second-hand shops to visit. I must offer a word

of caution about this category. If you begin to consider any of the garments

in this type of store, be ready to take home lots of extra baggage. Baggage

like the zany ex-wife. Or the ex-wife’s new boyfriend who wants to have cookouts

at your house so as not to mess up his own yard. And then there are the

in-laws who won’t go away! Not to mention the teenage child who may have

her own toddler. A lot of couples handle extra baggage very well. I am not

saying that you should not consider a wonderful person who just happens

to be divorced. I just want to point out that the extra baggage may have a

no-return policy. Only you know if you can carry all of that baggage in your

two arms.

Keeping all of that in mind, let’s go to the first consignment-type store: the

local grocery store on a Saturday. That is where you cannot help but notice

the men who are filling their carts with junk food like frozen pizza, fruit juice

packs, frozen waffles, and microwaveable popcorn. These are the weekend

dads. They have the kids visiting them for the weekend, and they haven’t a

clue what to do to make them happy except give them all the stuff that they

like but should not have.

Toy s r’ Us

In late December the holiday countdown comes to an end, and you will find the

divorced men roaming the aisles of toy stores and asking questions such as,

“Is this good for a six-year-old girl?” or “Is this popular with kids these days?”

I am not promoting this make of car or its power as a status symbol, nor am

I saying that just divorced men buy Porsches. What I am saying, once more,

is that men love big toys. Even if they can’t afford them, they appreciate the

craftsmanship and style, and after all, they can look. And so can you—at

them, I mean.

Men who are over forty and divorced, or who have broken off a long-term

relationship, often seem to want the things they couldn’t afford when they

were twenty or married with lots of responsibility. I guess you could call it

a second childhood. The person you need to befriend is the service manager.

He knows that the men who own these cars are tried and true when it comes

to keeping up their shiny, expensive investment. And he knows when they

are coming in for service and who is available. Know what I mean?

Divorce Court

No, silly, I don’t expect you to go sit in divorce court with a pad and pen,

writing down names of available men. That’s what friends and co-workers

are for!

All your married friends are no different from the salespeople at your favorite

store. They know and like you. Often when new merchandise comes in, they

will hold it for you. Your girlfriends, and let’s not forget male co-workers,

know when new merchandise is expected. Items found in a divorce-consignment

shop may be slightly dented and used, but good as new! What’s nice

about having a friend introduce you to a newly divorced person is that you

will have an inside scoop. You will not have to wonder why the couple got

divorced or if he had children or what the extra baggage consists of. Your

friends know and will be eager to tell you.

Are you ready for the department store, where

you’ll find many styles and brands?

Sports events

Take me out to the ball game, bowling, polo—now that’s an interesting one.

Even if the only thing you know about a horse is that it has a tail, go to a polo

match. You will meet the most fascinating people.

Tennis anyone? Golf ? Another good one. On any given day at any time, you

can go to a driving range and feast your eyes not on the ball, but on the hands

swinging the club. (But if it’s wearing a wedding ring, avoid the attached

man at all costs. This merchandise is sold.)

Bookstores can yield intelligent treasures. After all, if they’re browsing

books, they surely are not dating. Go to the sections you love, and maybe you

will find someone there who shares your passion. And don’t forget to browse

the sections he probably loves—computers, sports, travel.

Surfing the Net.

Internet dating is popular with women who are so busy they just don’t have

time to go out or they feel as if they’ve tried everything. While I know of

friends who have had some success with Internet dating services, they were

cautious and always found a way to do a background check. (In some states,

legislatures are taking up the issue of background checks for online daters.)

I will cover this department in more depth later in the book. For now, I’ll

say this. Do you recall the old adage that seeing is believing? My girlfriends

disagree with that after seeing photos on the net. One of my friends has

said that seeing is believing only in person. She arranged a date with a man

who looked like a dream in the photo he e-mailed her. When she met him in

person, she discovered he had posted a photo from

twenty-five years ago, and when he smiled he

revealed he had only two teeth.

COFFE SHOP

When’s the last time you hung out at the local

sit-down coffee shop? If you don’t read the

newspaper, it’s a good time to start. You can

sip your coffee and lower the paper every now

and then to see what new merchandise is being

put out.

ASK THE LOCALS

Know any lawyers? They know all the divorce lawyers.

And don’t forget the accountants. They have all the single

businessman clients. Go to Chamber of Congress

meetings; even if you do not have a business of your

own, every town has one.

Do you have a veterinarian? Ask him if he knows of a

few good men who love animals and are available. If

you don’t ask, you won’t get.

apply well to meeting men. The first is, “If opportunity doesn’t knock, ring

the doorbell.” In other words, don’t wait for him to come to you. This is not

catalog shopping. We are not in high school anymore, and we do not have

to wait by the phone for a man to call. Call him, and if he is not home call

another one. That’s what they do. Remember, you’re just window-shopping.

What’s the harm?

“How are you going to get your pants on if your feet are firmly planted on the

ground?” In other words, it’s okay to lift your foot up and be a bit unsteady

sometimes, maybe even to fall over taking a risk. That’s what window-shopping

is all about. Why not fall over? Make a few mistakes and then go on

looking as if you’re on an adventure. Discover the new you: the risk taker.

Okay, now that you have a whole new prospectus of places to go shopping,

let’s work on an action plan of where you want to go window-shopping.

For starters, pick and list three new places that I suggested. They may be

uncharted territories for you, and that’s a good thing. They will force you to

try something new. Now come up with some creative new places to windowshop

by yourself. When you finish this task, we are ready to take the first step

into the store of your choice. We will be the first in line. We will even get

there before it opens.

My three top picks of places suggested in this chapter to go windowshopping

for a man:

1. _________________________________________________

2. _________________________________________________

3. _________________________________________________

My own ideas for new places to go

window-shopping:

1. ___________________________________________

2. ___________________________________________

3. ___________________________________________

4. ___________________________________________

5. ___________________________________________

32

33

Your Personnal

Shopper

Chapter 4

your personal shopper. That’s right, your

personal shopper. I am going to take you

shopping for a man, but first I am going to

take you shopping! You deserve it!

If you’re thinking for one minute that you

can’t afford to shop … that’s the very

reason you can’t afford not to.

I consider this the most

important chapter in this book.

Why? Because it makes you accountable for your

own happiness. How? By taking the initiative

to look and feel your best internally and externally…

before you go shopping for a man. You are a complete

outfit, and a man is just an accessory like a handbag

or a scarf. He should complement you, just as the right

accessory can top off an outfit.

Before we can top off your outfit, we need to take a look at what you’re wearing.

When was the last time you caught your own reflection in a storefront

window? Or got more than just a quick glance in your rearview mirror while

stopped at a traffic light, hurriedly applying lip color?

Your reflections in the mirror may be more valuable than you think. I make it

a habit to catch my reflection once a season. And so should you. At least four

times a year, I am the person you see strolling on the street, looking in the

storefront window at herself, while tripping on my own feet because I am not

looking where I am going. I am looking at where I have been. That’s right,

where I have been…the past. Most likely you are seeing the past as well when

you see your reflection in the looking glass. If you haven’t changed your hairstyle

in a year or your makeup once a quarter, when the new colors and trends

are released in department stores, then you’re living in the past. Back in the

closet…way back. Think about it. If your reflection in the mirror still looks

like your high school photo, you are stuck in that time zone. If you look the

same as you did years ago, aren’t you going to attract the same type man you

did back then? The same ones we just cleaned out of your closet?

diaper and a slot machine…and soon you!

I can’t tell you how many times I have seen a woman at the mall dressed in

sweat pants and an oversized shirt, wearing no makeup, hair pulled up on top

of her head resembling a dinner roll, asking a salesperson to help her find a

dress for a special occasion. This is most likely the number one reason women

go shopping and come home saying, “I couldn’t find a thing!” In reality, the

salesperson couldn’t help you find a thing because of how you were dressed

when you asked for help. A salesperson is not a mind reader and can only assume,

judging by her first impression of your

dress style, that you like big, baggie, comfortable,

no-frills, inexpensive-type clothing.

And what about your friends when they see you

dressed in the same manner? Even though

you tell them your closet is now cleaned and

you are looking for a new type of man, they

do not see any changes in your fashion

image and cannot imagine any other type

man for you than the one who fits your

present look.

What to do? It’s time we take inventory of

your reflection before our shopping trip.

Answer these questions as honestly as possible.

Then add up your score to reveal the changes you

may or may not need to make to continue on

our shopping trip to get your man.

The last time I changed my ______________________ was:

(Answer for all 25 questions below.)

1 year 1 year 3 years 3 years

1. Hairstyle

2. Lipstick

3. Frames on my glasses

4. Makeup foundation

5. Perfume

6. Eye shadow colors

7. Hair products

8. Nail polish colors

9. Style of jeans

10. Type of bras

11. Fashion jewelry

12. Brand of shoes

13. Underwear style/colors

14. Saturday morning routine

15. Swimsuit

16. Deodorant

17. Mouthwash

18. Employment

19. Furniture Arrangement

20. Laundry detergent

21. Mall/store to shop in

22. Toothpaste

23. Shoe style

24. Handbag

25. Wallet

It’s time to reveal what changes you may need to make for a successful shopping

trip to get your man. Give yourself 5 points for the questions marked

less than a year, 2 points for over a year, 1 point for three years, and 0 points

for over three years.

If your score was in the range of 51-125, I’d say you’re ready for just a few

minor changes. Kudos to you for embracing change and keeping up with

fashion—and more importantly, building your self-esteem and confidence by

being a risk taker.

If your score reveals a 26-50, move over world,

there is a new women about to emerge from

her tired, worn-out, frumpy, dowdy image after a

shopping trip to the mall.

0-25? You ended up with the lowest score, but

your potential is the highest and your success rate

of getting a man much more likely because you are

going to make the most changes…therefore

attracting a whole new brand of men who had

no idea you existed!

No matter what your score is,

you’re going to score!

Now it’s time to go shopping to ensure that you will have the ten basic staples

needed to get the man you desire. This is one-stop shopping that can all be

accomplished on a Saturday morning at your favorite mall. Are you ready?

the help of a professional sales assistant. I know women who have had the

same style bra for years. It’s easy to get so comfortable in a brand and style,

isn’t it? But does it fit? And is it really comfortable, or just a habit? Did

you know your bra size and breast shape changes a lot over the years? It’s a

fact that a well-fitted bra can take years off your body. Ask for help from a

sales clerk in a store that has a department dedicated to undergarments. This

is one of the most important foundations of your look—so don’t be cheap.

This is not the place to economize. Spend some money on yourself ! Do not

be afraid to try new things like inserts or glue-on cups for a terrific strapless

look. Get rid of the banana boat look. You know, the bras that look one

sagging horizontal banana pressed flat to your chest? I swear, those types of

bras look like one big boob. And if like attracts like, the last thing you want

to attract is one big boob!

but it’s definitely not. It’s grandma’s bloomers! And it’s about time…to give

them back to her. I remember as a child my mother taking me to buy backto-

school clothes. And without fail she would buy me the Sunday-through-

Saturday underwear…snuggled together, rolled neatly in a box with a seethrough

plastic top that displayed the cotton pastel colors and wide elastic

waists. If you remember them, you’re probably laughing. If you’re too young

to remember, good. That means you do not have a habit of wearing what I

call grandmother’s bloomers. If we women would think of every day as if

it were going to be our honeymoon night…what undergarment would you

like your husband to see? Certainly not the bloomers! If you wear underwear

that feels sexier, fashionable, new, and comfortable, it will definitely reflect

how you’re feeling on the outside of your outfit. Your self-esteem will come

Chapter 4 Your Personnal Shopper

How to Use Your Shopping Skills to Get A Man

shining through like the sun that is welcomed on a cloudy day. Get rid of all

the old undies. Just think how nice it would be if, when you see something in

the mall that you want to try on, you didn’t have to hide in the dressing room

with those old baggie bloomers when the sales clerk says, “Let’s see, how does

that fit?”

to the same one for years. Your stylist is like the sales clerk in the department

store who sees you in your comfortable clothes and can’t imagine what type

of dress you need for the special occasion. She may be a wonderful hairdresser,

but now that you’ve trained her not to change your style by a hair, she may

be unlikely to make even a subtle change to your color and cut. So go for it!

Try the trendiest stylist in town. If you don’t know of one in your town, go

out of town. Be sure to ask for something that’s in fashion and manageable.

Get instructions on how to style the new look, including the styling products

you will need to keep it up. Never go out, even if just to the grocery store,

without styling your hair. You never know when that man will walk into your

life. God forbid it’s on a bad hair day! He just might change checkout lines.

the makeup counter. Most members of the cosmetics sales team are more

than happy to give you a complimentary makeover. Word of caution. If the

woman who wants to assist you looks like she has enough makeup on her face

to make over a small colony, I would smile and walk away. Look for someone

whose makeup is trendy, yet natural and classy. She most likely will apply

the same look that she is wearing. Before you buy a thing, thank the sales associate

and tell her you want to think about it. Ask for her card and then go

outside and take a look at your new look in natural sunlight. Most stores have

fluorescent lighting at the makeup counters that artificially enhance your skin

tone. This will cause your skin to look totally different than in the natural

light outside, where the makeup will show its true hues. If you like what you

see, head back to the cosmetics department and buy what I call the trifecta:

the winning three basics every women needs. The most important product is

your foundation—also probably the most expensive product, but well worth

it. You will find that a little goes a long way. Most seem to provide sufficient

moisture, sun protection, and lightweight coverage that looks natural. Second,

mascara. One that goes on with out clumping, lasts all day long, and is

waterproof. And last, a combination compact with lip color and blush and

an applicator. Be on the outlook for complimentary gifts with purchases or

other discount incentives. They often are a wonderful value that gives you a

chance to sample quality cosmetics. If you’re on a budget that won’t allow

splurging at a department store just yet, don’t discount the idea of having a

makeover at your home by a local representative. Most of these ladies keep

up with the seasonal trends and new makeup applications, and if you are on a

budget they always offer good specials. Oh! I almost forgot. Ask for samples

so you can try before you buy.

just for that workout. Do not step out of the gym in those stinky, sweaty tube

sox, wearing sneakers. (You do go to the gym, right?) Be feminine; look

feminine. Get a pedicure and a manicure. Show off your feet in the summer

in open-toe slingbacks or silver and gold sandals. In the winter, if you live in

a warm climate, heels with fine hose are always a head turner, versus running

shoes and an elastic-waist velour jogging suit. For those of you in the snow

belt, bring heels to work to put on after you slip off the boots. Remember,

you’re shopping for a man!

hi-top-to-your-first-rib-fitting jeans. Peewee Herman, you’re not, so why

dress like him? Go shopping for jeans with someone in his or her twenties. If

you don’t have a shopping friend, go to the dressing rooms of trendy stores

that carry a wide assortment of jeans and ask the fitting room attendant

about what type of jeans women are trying on and buying most. You need to

think chic—not bib overalls or farmer’s dungarees.

fragrance for you—not your home—it’s time. Take a poll among your family,

coworkers, and friends. Ask what type of perfume they like on women. This

is the only time that you do not want to buy what is trendy

or advertised everywhere. This decision should be well

thought out, because it will become your signature. It’s like

the flower that attracts the bee. The fragrance that adorns

a room when you enter or lingers when you exit will be

like leaving your personal business card behind. Whenever

he inhales the scent you selected, he can only think of one

thing—you! That is unless you purchase the fragrance of

the month, like every other woman.

buying for others while you are wearing hand-me-downs. Although consignment

shops often have some great deals, I would like you to treat yourself

once a month by purchasing a new clothing article, even if it is just an inexpensive

trendy pair of earrings or perhaps a new belt. The intent is not to

put you in the poor house. Rather, it is to make you feel like a million bucks!

From now on, buy only the best quality you can afford to add to your new

wardrobe. Keep in mind that quality does not always have to be accompanied

at a high price tag. Shopping once a month for a new item to add to your

wardrobe will also give you a reason to visit the mall and to keep your finger

on the pulse of what is in fashion. Be sure to check out the sales clerks. They

always seem to spend more than they make to look stylish on the job.

with bangles and beads. Fashion jewelry can be an inexpensive way to look

classy and elegant. Within seconds, just by changing your pearl post earrings

to chandelier earrings or rhinestone hoops, you go from a daytime look to

a night out on the town. Even a shrinking violet can feel ten feet tall with

costume jewelry.

ready to cut up some of your most cherished rags. Yes, it’s time to do in the

flannel pj’s and pink not-so- fluffy slippers for something glamorous. Ready.

. .set. . .cut, cut, cut. Make dust rags or use the discarded oldies to clean your

car. Go ahead, try something that a movie star would wear to lounge around

in. You deserve it. Not to mention, should he show up unexpectedly, you

won’t scare him off.

Ask any marketing guru; they will all tell you that drawing attention to a new

product is all in the packaging and marketing. After you go to the mall and

complete the above tasks, you will be a whole new product. Not only new and

improved, but truly new! Packaged in a way that would be hard for any male

consumer you desire to resist.

Now it’s time to unveil the new you! To set yourself free on the world so you

can show and tell every living breathing human being on the planet. . .okay,

maybe that’s a little bit much; let me rephrase that. Tell everyone in your

world just what is on your shopping list and what man you’re in the market

for. Go get ‘em.

If you want to read more of this book you can order a book by calling 941-302-0054